Sometimes I wonder...

If i'm doing enough.
I see my fellow artists; school/classmates posting new quality works and sketches daily and at times, i can't help but feel i'm slacking off.

But at the same time, I know i do not like to force myself to draw or doodle.
Doing so will just take the enjoyment and fulfillment out of the process. Rushing my ideas will only make them shallow. (aren't doodles supposed to be shallow superficial fun thingamajiggies though..? LOL)

Maybe i'm just lazy.
Or maybe I'm not prioritizing art at the moment... Because there are other aspects of my life that i would like to focus on first, for now.

I shall choose to believe that i'm the latter, with a tinge of the former.

Art, i may not be doing much with you now, may not be 'improving' and growing as fast as you would like me to, may not be experimenting with you as much as i want to, may not be spending enough time with you to justify myself as a 'true artist' that lives and breathes art... But i promise you, when we do catch up occasionally, I will always put in the time and effort to make you feel appreciated, respected and aesthetically pleasing. I will slowly integrate you more into my life as i fix myself up. And from how i use you as my form of expression, you should know how fucked up I am, and hence, this will take some time.
Know that I still love you, even though it may not seem so; even if i may not create you every day. You are a big part of my life and I am nothing without you. So wait for me, don't lose faith in me, just as i will not lose my passion for you.

I feel like i've written a cheesy love letter to a lover or something. Hahahaha. Unfortunately & fortunately, this has no deeper meaning than what is said. ;)