This technique is called, the " Photoshop-is-my-best-friend-
because-i-can-make-my-eyes-look-as-huge-as-a-baboon's-
arse-and-nobody-would-suspect-a-frickin-thing-coz-they'd
-be-too-busy-admiring-the-gigantic-red-AX-on-my-really
-smexah-mouth-yay-hee-hee" method.
Let me demonstrate,
First,do the face warmups (with random poses).
Just to make sure you're flexible enough for the 'final beautified' photo.
The 'I'm-trying-to-be-a-human-vacuum-with-magical-powers' Look
The "oh,-im-a-monstrous-imitation-of-sasuke-from-
Naruto-and-i-can-do-CHIDORI-fear-meh"Look
The "Holy-shytzxc-is-that-a-fly-eating-my-clothes?" Look.
The "whatchoo-staring-at?-bway-song-wanna-fight?-lai-lai!" Look.
The "I-am-your-worst-nightmare-because-i-ate-
10,000-chickens-in-my-lifetime" Look
The "nooooooooo-don't-kill-me,-i'm-already-dead!" Look
The "i-eat-pink-poofy-pandas-for-breakfast" Look
The "what-the-fudge,-they-gave-me-a-shemale-
bear-with-an-annoying-repetitive-voice?" Look
The 'i-think-this-transexual-bear-just-
peed-on-my-boxers" Look
The "i'm-licking-my-Jack-Piggybank-because-it-
wont-let-me-take-my-coins-out" Look
The "har?-did-i-do-something-wrong-again" Look
The "i'll-cut-chor-iron-bawls-with-these-
scissorhands-of-mine" Look
The "Whoooaaaa,-did-my-brother-just-give-
birth-to-5-offsprings?" Look
The "hmmm-i'm-thinking-if-i-should-tell-my-mum-
that-my-cat-farted-into-the-aircon" Look
The "come-any-closer-and-i'll-smash-you-with-
this-million-dollar-guitar" Look
The "i'm-trading-this-rare-macdonalds-hello-kitty
-(cough)-for-your-left-ass-cheek" look
Well, ON TO THE NEXT STEP!
Next, do the typical 1-10 cutesy finger poses.
WE ALL KNOW IT'S BOUND TO MAKE
YOU ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE! :D
(oh yes, do try to keep your face looking EXACTLY the same.
You will notice that I HAVE PHAILED!
but i know that there are people out there who are
soooooooo much better than me! :'{ )
ONE! ['i like to poke myself']
TWO! [ 'peace out YO ima hippie']
THREE! ['aye okay i'll buy your nose for 20cents ']
FOUR! [ 'Just alil more and all that gruesome pubic hair will be gone']
FIVE! [' i hope the taxis can see i'm flagging them']
SIX! [ 'I'd like to be a rabbit,
with 3 whiskers on each side of my pretty face.HEES']
SEVEN! [ 'Bang! That perv from the seventh floor was peeping again']
EIGHT! ['oh whoooops, i was too busy
shoving 8 fingers up my noseholes']
X
NINE! ['i'm so frustrated i wish i could
scratch my head and cut myself!']
TEN! THE LAST ONE!
['i'm the beautiful rose of your dreams~~~']
AND NOW, on to the real deal!
STEP NUMERO UNO: Practise looking straight ahead.
Your pupils HAVE to be be in the middle of your eyeballs.
No mistakes whatsoever, especially for the mediocre photoshop n000bs.
STEP TWOOOO: FOCUS, CONCENTRATE!
DO NOT BE DISTRACTED! Center your eyes and
get ready for a bright 3secs flash.
OH, and please, before the shutter goes off,
DO REMEMBER TO FORCE THAT FAKE
ADORING SMILE UPON YOUR LOVELY FACE!
that's a crucial step!
STEP THREE, FINALLY.
It's all about the photoshop skills, baby.
Dont forget to add lots of hearts,
preferably pink or BRIGHT red for that breathtaking effect.
Color your eyes, if you havent worn contacts in fear
that they would make your eyes BLEEEEDDDD.
pop in some text to show your undying love for whoever you're in love with.
and lastly, REMEMBER TO PLACE THAT HUGE RED 'X' ON YOUR MOUTH.
you'd want to tell viewers that the desirable you is OFF LIMITS.
NOW, STOP LOOKING SO SHOCKED!
I TOLD YOU I WAS PRETTY!
A/N:LOLOLOLOLOL, ok, that was a fun post to do. super destressing,
& i hope readers feel better about their pretty faces that do not contain mock eye pupils. :D
Disclaimer: Adabelle Tan EL JAY has every right to alter whatever photos
that are here because it is all her 100& natural;no makeup;no botox;no liposuction, no photoshop
face and body. Feel free to use without permission,
just be kind enough to warn her of the misdeeds
that you will be placing on her face/body beforehand
thankyouverymuch. LOL.
P/S. addy was in no way, REALLY - NO WAY,trying to mock anyone whatsoever.
it is just harmless casual fun~ (not) :D
Credits: Jay/Desheng/Kit-ty's shemale bear,
teh1337laptopwebcam & the sexy pink panda pooftoy from antonywithsexylonggoldenhair! :D
With that, addddehhhh salutes all j00 people whose eyeballs did not get burnt from looking through all those horrendous photos of her worst possible looks. :D
KTHXBAI. :)
(Saturday,17th May, 4.11am)
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