What rubbish

was I thinking before...?
Why do I have to choose between A or B majors, or apply for them 1 after another?
(Twice the time, low efficiency.)
Since it's B that I want to do, shouldn't I just concentrate the hell on that particular portfolio instead and hope for a scholarship for that? Besides, even if I may think I stand a higher chance with A, I will not want to waste 4 years learning something that is so personal and that I can do on my own. (I don't like people to tell me what to do with my personal thoughts and feelings on paper, no matter what big-named person they are. 8B)

It's not the end of the world if I fail at getting a shot at B, or decide not to go after A.
There's always a back up plan - other things to focus on or another way to get there, someday. Of course, I'm not thinking of producing sloppy low-standard works and giving a half-hearted attempt ( That just goes against my principles... So disgusting. ), but y'know.... I like to remind myself that nothing is ever certain, plans don't always go as planned & I won't necessarily 'succeed' in everything I do, but life still goes on and I must keep moving forward.