Wednesday, December 09, 2009

inadequacy makes me sick in the stomach

after viewing others' awesome pieces,
and looking at my own uncompleted ones several times -
i felt like puking, crying and banging my brains out with a needle.

i wondered, what am i lacking?
why can everyone finish theirs on time, produce such nice works, but not me?
i don't have that many commitments do i? hell no, some of them have more!
what is with me and time management?
i felt pretty alright about my own pieces before looking at others'.
but i have decided to trash them and start all over - within a week.

and i've already been marked for late submission,
or rather - absence since i scooted off...when it was close to my turn.
i just miss too many lessons because i don't want to turn up with mediocre or incomplete work,
even wsc. that is my downfall. i am so .

say hello to another year at NYP.
congratulations for fucking yourself up, addy.
which is not as good as it sounds.

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